One of my colleagues shared a conversation she had the day after the last presidential election in the US. Her five-year old daughter asked her how come the mean, angry man who called people names, yelled at people, and used bad words had won. Her parents had taught her to respect everyone including her teachers, her elders, clergy, and figures of authority, to be polite and honest. This was the way everyone was expected to behave, and grown-ups were supposed to set an example for children to aspire to. Mom tried to explain that sometimes people ignored bad behavior because they really didn’t like the other person running for office, but that she and Dad did not think that was a good idea and hopefully a good person with good ideas would be there to vote for next time.
There is an alarming trend of extremism in our world today, magnified in US society but seen in populist movements, tribal and ethnic conflicts, racial bigotry and cultural isolationism across the planet. Social media has given equal access to many voices and created an unfiltered, impossible to monitor and regulate global conversation. Those wishing to manipulate the conversation do so freely, and it is increasingly difficult for many people to sort fact from fiction, belief from reason, truth from vitriolic lies and hyperbole. As active participants and leaders in business and society I suggest we all have an obligation to raise the bar and not get pulled into the easy trap of us versus them, regardless of where we come from and who we disagree with. There is a belief many hold that what we see in others reflects what we see in ourselves. If that is your view it is clear how important it is to operate from a moral code that embraces and projects basic human decency.
Leaders in all areas (politics, education, religion, arts and sciences, entertainment, sports…) have flaws, some more significant than others. Somehow the basic concepts of decency, integrity and mutual respect have been lost in the intoxicating, self-gratifying quest for power, prestige, and financial gain. It is easy for bullies, extreme liberals and conservatives, prima-donnas of all types to criticize others, to divide and isolate. It is so simple to be self-righteous, holier than thou, believing our own little world view and beliefs are the only truth. For some this degrades into adolescent schoolyard bullying, racism, misogyny and hatred. When broken, amoral people hold power it creates an environment where this type of behavior seems to be acceptable and extremism is emboldened and empowered. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I have two bumper stickers on my truck right now. One says “Respect is Given, Trust is Earned”. I encourage all of us to soften our dialogue, release some of our anger and hatred, and approach our daily interactions from a place of moral integrity and mutual respect. Take the high road and don’t add to the zeitgeist of distrust and hatred. Demand and expect the best of yourself and those in leadership roles, and strive for civil dialogue; earn each other’s trust. Agree to disagree, work on compromise and collaboration. Build instead of destroying. The other bumper sticker (which I have had since well before the last election) says “Think, it’s not illegal (yet!)”. Change starts with each of us making our own choices from a place of knowledge, faith, and strength. Live so no one has to explain to their children why you are the person in charge, and our world will be a better place.